Monday, my DH came home from work troubled. His company gave his job to someone else, took his phone away and gave him two weeks paid vacation. He’s to start a new position when he comes back to work.
Sudden. Quick like. Just like that.
CHANGE IS HARD
From experience, I knew how he felt. Back in my corporate days, I also underwent drastic change at work. It was stressful. Uncertainty is like a slimy microscopic worm that gets under your skin and feeds your self-doubt.
Once over the hump, it gets better. But the hump is so high at first, it blocks the view. Maturity and self-confidence really help to embrace change. After my first big overhaul at my job, I understood my work value; I was good at what I did, and if the worse happened, I would find work somewhere else. Somewhere better. If one possesses an excellent work ethic, one has a higher value on the job market.
CHANGE IS CHALLENGING
Change in any life situation is a challenge, but our attitude toward it can move the arrow in the alert zone, or the zen zone. When change happens outside our realm of control, it is much better to accept it, or go with the flow, than fight it. Since we can’t control the incoming change, nothing positive can be gained by becoming bitter and angry and vitriolic.
Easier said than done.
When the wound is still fresh, it’s good to let off steam like a presto spitting on the stove. Rail away. In private. And avoid to express your anger on FB or Twitter or any other public outlet. That would not be good.
CHANGE IS GOOD
Once the burn has been reduced in intensity, it’s time to look for the positives. Try to find one. Try harder. Then find another one. Force yourself. It takes a while, but the positives will come.
I told my DH he would shine brighter than before in his new role. He has to. He’s that good.
Meanwhile, I have subtly submitted a to-do list while he’s on paid vacation.
A girl has to grab the opportunity while it flashes by…
Have you ever had a huge change in your life? What’s your hindsight?
I’ve weathered a few of those from the spouse-side myself. Used to freak out, get panicky, drag my feet about moves, etc. I don’t think maturity changed me. My change of attitude began with prayer, spending more time with God and less in my own head. The last big move/change seemed like a total disaster, but I kept reminding my husband that God had brought us through much worse. Turns out the timing was much better with all the delays that were driving him up a wall! And living in peace and calm is so much nicer than being panicky.
Great post, Carole.
Val,
You say maturity didn’t change you, but I see it at work with your faith and your prayers. And right you are, living in peace is priceless.
My life has been nothing but almost constant change, from jobs to kids to moving to new countries. But I love it.
Keeps on your toes and young always!
Divorce: ranting, sobbing, finally moving out of state with my 3 kids in tow. Thank God FB and Twitter didn’t exist then, I only embarrassed myself to a few friends and most of my family.
Cancer: accepting, putting my faith in God and my doctors. Made me a better person.
Retirement: learning to take it a day at a time and loving every minute. Who says all change is bad?
Ah, it’s all relative. In the end, we are in control of our lives. Meaning we control how the change affect us, in some way.